Al-Qaeda, Russian Prostitute Take Credit For Costas’ Pink Eye

(Sochi) Senior Al-Qaeda operative Omar al-Farouq has claimed responsibility for the eye infection of famed NBC Sports anchor Bob Costas. Al-Farouq reportedly paid a high-grade Russian prostitute named “Siberia” an undisclosed amount to take a shit on Costas’ face after a discounted one-night package in which Costas was promised oral sex for five straight hours….