Report: Tom Brady Suspended Two Additional Games for Calling Roger Goodell a “Mexican”

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I know, I know: I haven’t blogged since ‘Nam.

I had a groundbreaking story about the last perfect March Madness bracket belonging to a Muslim extremist named Abu Achmed Al-Ahmed- which everyone was extremely excited about. But then Kentucky lost and Abu returned to his cave before I could interview him. Seemed like an honest gentleman, nonetheless.

Next, I considered writing about my friend and teammate Vincent Beltrano (whose 5’6, 190 lb. frame indicates some degree of Jewish-Italian in-breeding) declaring for the NFL draft. But that fell through, as well, when he was stepped on by a fat chick and suffered a broken foot. His medical hardship waiver is currently being reviewed by the NCAA.

Those would’ve been great stories, no doubt, but Brady calling Goodell a “Mexican” is just straight gold. Not gonna lie, when I first heard the sound bite, I was more shocked than when I saw Rev. Jesse Jackson in Floyd Mayweather’s entourage. Just a couple humble Christians walking out to a fight, trying to make a couple million.  Nothing to see here.

Brady didn’t go with the traditional rhetoric (i.e. “fuck face”, “liberal”, or “atheist”)- he called the commissioner of the National Football League a “Mexican”. Just hilarious.

I don’t even mind Tom getting two more games- he’s up there in age anyway and now his teammates think he’s the greatest thing since iced coffee. Plus now we get to watch Brett Favre lead the Pats to 6-0.

And if the Pats get Hernandez back, watch out. Touchdown city.

Should be a fun year.

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