Kim Jong Un caught rubbing his culture to Michael Jordan

It has been revealed that  Kim Jong Un, the supreme leader of the Hermit Kingdom of North Korea, executed his uncle for walking in on him masturbating to a picture of MIchael Jordan.  When Un was 15, his father Kim Jong Il sent him to a private high school in Switzerland.  While at the expensive high school, Kim Jong Un became good friends with the son of a Portugese diplomat named Joao Michaelo.  Michaelo described Un as a flat out Charles, stating “I never once saw a drop of alcohol pass his lips and he was never interested in girls.”  Needless to say, Kim Jong Un was the embodiment of a misfit that got no burgahs.  Michaelo also stated that Kim Jong Un had a predilection for Michael Jordan, and once caught him in his room rubbing himself with vasoline to Jordan’s game winning shot in the 1998 NBA finals.     kim-jong-toys_3091579k

Notice how Kim Jong Un is surprised as he is caught in a room with stuffed animals having sex with each other.

On December 12, 2013, KIm Jong Un’s uncle, Jang Song-thaek was executed for an alleged attempt to overthrow the government.  This story has been proven false as Jang Song-thaek was really murdered for walking in on Kim Jong Un masturbating to Michael Jordan with Wasabi Mayo cream this time.  To attempt to hide the cat from coming out of the bag, Kim Jong Un ordered the brutal execution of his uncle by having him being chewed alive by dogs. potd-jong-paint_2996741k

Kim Jong Un is most likely happy in this photo because this substance is a potential for lube when he masturbates.


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