So yesterday at TMC headquarters, HalfManHalfMook blurted out, “There’s nothing more attractive than a burgah who can roll a nice sploife.” Everybody always uses this phrase and its usually followed by some exaggerated nonsense. Hard to disagree with what HalfManHalfMook said, but it got me thinking….what are most attractive qualities that burgahs have?
After analyzing every cute tendency, every sexy habit, and every beautiful body movement that a burgah can have, here is the ultimate list of “There’s nothing more attractive than a girl who…”
Has good taste in music
-Does not have to be the same taste as mine, but as long as she has her own, unique, and not Billboard Top 50 taste then I can dig it. Also important that she is open to my music, and to music being played in most casual situations, as well as in the bedroom.
Executes a shy/sexy eye fuck
-Whether at a bar, party, or even just alone, girls who can execute a subtle yet sexual eye contact can burgah me sideways.
Orders something besides a salad
-A girl who can appreciate steak is one thing, but a girl comfortable enough to have a burger in front of me is my kind of girl.
Can play catch with you
-Baseball would be awesome, but even football, frisbee, fuck it, even a tennis ball will do.
Can teach you how to dance
-Pull me on the dance floor and teach me how to salsa, tango, dougie, I dont care. I promise I’ll be an enthusiastic student.
Can make you more than a sandwich
-The classic guy saying is “go make me a sandwich” what about the woman who can cook up a real meal. A girl who can grill…….game over. I personally love to cook, but a girl who likes making interesting things like buffalo chicken dip and baked bacon mac and cheese is alright by me.
Has nice calves
-2nd most underrated part of the female body, behind the back, exposed and defined calves are basically a magnet to me. MushOfAllTrades is the only bigger fan of calves than me, and he specifically loves when a girl has her back turned to you, and does a slight toe/leg left, to extend the calves.
Packs a mean cooler for the beach
-If I pick her up for the beach and she has a cooler ready with fruit, beer, liquor, and sandwiches, I’ll wife her up on the spot. Having fun on the beach is 50% weather, 50% preparation.
Puts her phone away
-Enjoy my culture when you’re with me…not snapchats from your friend’s day at the mall.
Can watch the game with you
-I dont mind if she asks questions, as long as she is trying to get into it, and understands my passion, then pley ball.
Wears justttt a culture touch of perfume
-Only want to smell your perfume when I am culturing around your neck and chest later in the night, not while I’m having a conversation with my boys three tables over.