Once again, our talented friend in the bloggosphere, SparklesandSecrets.com wrote an article about the top 20 sex tips every girl wants every guy to know. Very informative and accurate list, but there’s a couple things she’s forgetting. We have some say in this whole sex decision too. We like things certain ways, and can get turned off just as easily as a girl can. Girls, if you’re having issues giving your guy the juiciest, most flavorful, most tender, gourmet burgah, check out this list:
1) Don’t give me a hand-job
-I’m no longer in middle school, so don’t treat me as if I am. If I wanted a good hand job, I will do it myself. Maybe a quick tug or two during foreplay, but blowjob should be coming right after. I love my right palm way more than yours.
2) No Teeth
-Some girls think its hot to nibble on the dick or balls….no. It’s not, and only gets us scared that you may chomp. I may have an Italian sausage, but not an edible one.
3) Faking does not make us happy
-We can tell. Rather than try to appease us, try and help us help you. Tell the captain how you want the boat to rock, don’t just go with whichever way its sailing. Its tacky, over the top, and porn-star esque. I know how good I am, I don’t need your fake reassurance.
4) It’s not over until I finished
-Not saying its done when we finish, but if you may be done, tired, and satisfied, I might still have blue balls over here! We just worked our ass off, and if for whatever reason, I have not finished, the job is not finished. Word, you’ve had your orgasm, that doesn’t mean it’s time to go.
5) Giving us head should not mean we have to give you head
-You should give guys head because you want to, not for the return. Do you give a gift hoping they give one back? No, you give it for the generosity. I don’t keep tally of how often I head south for you. If you are confident, and happy giving a blowjob, we will most likely return the favor. Don’t look or ask for it. I’m more than glad to munch your bin, don’t give me a shitty BJ just so I will give you my superb head.
6) Dead fish does not encourage us to do more work
-Wake up and smell the coffee. If you’re unhappy with the performance, speak up, don’t just lie there. That discourages us from even trying. If I wanted a dead fish, I’d drill a hole in my bed.
7) Positive Reinforcement
-As sparkles said, “take initiative!” Girls love when guys take initiative, so if we take a chance and you like it, tell us! We’ll be more inclined to do it again, and to take more initiative in the future. If I excelled in doggy style, let me know so I can again. A confidence boost is only going to make me better.
8) Keep the lights on
-If we’re having sex with you, we think you’re hot. We want to see you, not just feel you. Half the fun of sex is seeing how hot the other person, and you both together, look. Keep the lights on, don’t be insecure. But if you’re a turkey or veggie Burgah, maybe shut them off…
9) Confidence is key
-Confidence is the biggest aphrodisiac. A confident girl in the bedroom is the sexiest girl in the bedroom. If you’re confident, we’ll be more confident, we’ll take more chances, be more aggressive, and the sex will be much better. As well, in my experience, when girls are confident, they enjoy sex more. Fact of life.
10) Help Protect
-Protection is a two way street. We’ll wear condoms, but help us put them on. Kinda sexy when a girl takes the condom and puts it on my dick for me. Makes the guy think the girl is so excited for the sex, that they couldn’t wait to get that condom on and start going. If we both don’t put effort into protection, we are both going to be buying diapers when we go out to get rolling papers.
11) Fully shaven is nice, but groomed is sexy too
-Fully shaven is what my generation does. Its sexy, but trimmed and groomed in either a landing strip or triangle form can be sexy. Shows the girl takes care of herself, and is confident with her sexuality. By no means do I want to cough up a fur ball, but a little mustache tickle never hurts.
12) Lingerie is hot, don’t be afraid to show it off
-Guys like foreplay too, and lingerie can be part of that foreplay. We remember what we’re looking at, and sexy lingerie can last in my memory for years. Lace on lace on lace per favor.
13) Kiss the tip
-Remember to kiss the end of the dick during blowjobs…a lot of nerve endings down there, and the sexiness drives us off the wall. If you want to leave me with a smile for the next 48 hours, you’ll kiss the tip.
14) Don’t forget the balls
-During blowjobs and sex, don’t forget the balls. Very sensitive and lonely down there. Keep them in mind. Just like women, our balls can get hurt easily and need the appropriate attention.
15) Being freaky does not equal being hot
-Freakishness can be good, but don’t mistake it for sexiness. Sometimes simple missionary can be the sexiest position during sex, and sometimes whipping out handcuffs, a whip, flavored lube, and a vibrating ring can make us want to run and hide. And no, I don’t want a thumb up my ass.
16) Don’t compare us to other guys
-Some girls think its hot to say, “you’re so much bigger/better than him.”….don’t. Don’t put another guys name in our heads during sex. Bad idea. I usually know I’m better or will admit somebody is more hung than me. No need for a reminder, I don’t want to be thinking about his rod.
17) Be yourself afterwards
-Many girls get awkward and self conscious after sex. Big turnoff. Be yourself. Be open about the sex. We can talk and laugh about it. We are sharing intimacy, don’t be afraid to share a joke.
18) Open minded
-When we try to take initiative and bring something new to the bedroom, be enthused to try it out! We get nervous being open too, but if we’re down to try new things, you should be down to. Be honest with us, but be open first. You’re only going to hit the ball if you swing at it, take a chance!
19) Don’t be scared of the cleanup
-Sex is a full process. From first kiss to cuddling. Cleanup is part of that process. Don’t be scared…its only semen… Moist paper towels always do the job, tissues are over-rated and can leave tissue stuck to my tip that you might lick in the future.
20) Finish Strong
-When a guy finishes, keep going for a little. The satisfaction can last, as long as you stay confident and sexy. Keep sucking, keep humping, keep being confident and the fun can last way after the final blow (pun intended). You will know when I’m done, don’t rush to the finish line.