Here’s A Couple Of Jokes If You’re Having A Bad Day

So, I did not write these jokes in fact I have no idea who did, so I am sorry if they offend anyone. Read them if you need to cheer up. Enjoy the laughter.

  • I’d just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said ‘I’ve not eaten for two days.’ I told him, ‘I wish I had your will power.’
  • A fat girl served me in McDonald’s at lunchtime. She said ‘sorry about thewait’. I said, ‘Don’t worry, you’ll find a way to lose it eventually’.
  • I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.  When I came out, he looked at me and said ‘Any Change?’ I said, ‘Nope, you’re still black’.
  • Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works best!
  • Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.
  • I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself. I’m going to take that.’
  • I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently “Blacks” and “Mexicans” were NOT the correct answers.
  • I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake. — 

2 Comments Add yours

  1. gorhammerrr says:

    So my friend with a premature ejaculation problem cums out of nowhere…

  2. Imogene says:

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