This young scholarly lad had a propensity to get burgers in dramatic fashion and had a keen interest in knowledge. This mush was so witty that he was matriculated at the University of Padua at 12 and graduated by age 17 with a degree in law, a profession to which he felt an ‘unconquerable aversion’ and had a masterly knowledge of moral philosophy, chemistry and mathematics and medicine. He also was an avid violin player (what a charles.) Casanova lived quite a cultural life as he switched professions capriciously, working as a diplomat, mathematician, spy, alchemist, Freemason, card sharp, actor, playwright, duellist, lawyer, physician and librarian. He was fluent in Italian, French. Latin and Greek, with passable German, English and Russian, he travelled over 65,000 km, mostly by coach, and negotiated through 27 different currencies.
What is most note-worthy about this spectacular individual was his ability to get burgers, and his way of going about getting them. He was not an aesthetically pleasing man by any means, tall and thin, with a hooked nose, protuberous eyes, yet he was so triumphant with getting burgers on the grill because of his mentality. His hypothesis was that he, or indeed any man, could seduce any woman if she felt that she was the sole object of his undivided attention. “I don’t conquer, I submit”, he wrote. He showed solicitude towards his burgers and engaged in safety measures when eating his burgers to ensure that neither he or she would get food poisoning subsequent to burgering. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I mean STD’s, bad culture, whatever your flavor is, always use protection. Casanova was a very resourceful man when eating burgers as he made condoms out of sheep intestines and linen, or even half of a lemon inserted into the girl’s culture as an improvised “Dutch cap.” He only ate around 140 burgers in his lifetime, but it was the manner in which he ate those burgers which makes him such an accomplished eater. At the time in which Casanova lived, marriage was only for status and duty, and sex was free for all.
Let me go into detail about some of Casanova’s burger stories. He seduced a young castrato(a male singer) who actually turned out to be a woman in disguise. He conciously slept with his own daughter and mother at the same time, he burgered his niece and at one point burgered five sisters who’s family had been saved from ruin. He claimed that he could burger, or make love six times a night by amalgamating egg-whites and chocolate. Although Casanova did obtain gonorrheah 11 times throughout his time eating burgers, he was a very decorated individual in many aspects of life, especially in the category of eating burgers.