This past weekend I was in Las Vegas and I made it back to New York alive. Gin, tonic, gambling and a strange encounter with a “working woman” highlighted a weekend of debauchery. Thank god I’m back to civilization.

In other news, welcome to the baseball season. Beer, fried chicken, and tobacco will be in full effect and damn, it feels good to be American. When I sat down to write this bit, there was one guy who I thought of automatically. A guy who absolutely killed it in High Heat baseball for PS2 but was as average a middle infielder you could get.

Throwback city, we’re talking about Jose Offerman. After 15 years in the league, Jose ended his career with a .273 average, 57 homeruns, and 537 ribbies. This dude is famous for two things as a baseball player: hitting a dinger in his first MLB at bat and hitting a lot of triples. Other than that, he’s best known as WWE Diva JoJo Offerman’s dad. No jokes, check her out because she’s a dime.

Since his last professional season with the Mets in 2005, Jose’s effectively fell off the map. Besides an independent league brawl where he charged the mound with a bat and effectively ended a Bridgeport Bluefish catcher’s career, he’s maintained a low profile. We’re looking at weather in the sixties all week here in the ‘Cuse, so I’ll be spending my time drinking White Russians and contemplating what average-ass jamoke we’ll detail next week. Until then, get your culture touches up.