Another day, another dollar. Another Tuesday? Another average athlete.

As the springtime warmth rolls upon Syracuse, I can’t help but feel the optimism that summer time brings. While the weather is getting warmer, I’ve been scanning statistician notebooks, team rosters and news reports to find some of the most outlandishly average athletes this world has ever seen.

We all know that Milwaukee, Wisconsin is good for two things: Beer and Sausage. And that beer better be Milwaukee’s Best or you’re doing something wrong. What baffles me is why a mother would name her child after this Midwestern oasis and butcher the spelling.

Enter Kiwaukee Thomas. The defensive back hailing from Georgia Southern amassed seven seasons in the NFL and one season north of the border with the Montreal Alouettes.

As an NFL DB, he combed the league from Jacksonville, to Miami, to Buffalo and a short stint with the Detroit Lions before making his move to the most European province of our northern neighbor.

In those seven seasons, Thomas was responsible for 171 solo tackles, four sacks, and one interception for merely eight yards. With no defensive touchdowns and one forced fumble, our man Kiwaukee made it clear he was as average as can be.

We saw last week with the chain-dipping Billy Beane that on-field performance doesn’t necessarily translate to comparable levels of success within the sport’s other facets. Kiwaukee Thomas is currently an Assistant Defensive Back Coach with Webber International University of the NAIA.

 

How does the old saying go? Those who can’t do, teach? I think that applies to this week’s Mr. Par, Kiwaukee Thomas.