To be clear, I am talking about Beirut.  Beer “pong” is a sport played with paddles that our parents used to play.  Back when Rolling Rocks prevailed over the now preferred Natty Light.  Just as “pong” has many variations, so too does our beloved gentlemans sport of “Ruit”.

I call it a gentleman’s sport, because it is a sport played with etiquette.  In golf, etiquette 101 tells you to never talk in somebody’s back swing or never walk with your spikes over somebody’s putting line.  There are certain etiquette expectations in Ruit as well.

Our gentlmeans sport is being ruined by people who have no respect for the game.  Who are we if we don’t respect the culture that came before us and the long traditions of our generation’s beloved game?

In this article I will address the etiquette breakers who challenge the integrity of the game. And ruin my favorite sport.

To The kid that stands too close to the table

You are Shaquille O’Neil we used to say.  All you can do is dunk.  Take a goddam step back from the table.  Have some respect, the game should not be as easy as dropping a ball in a cup.

To the kid that bounces

Are you fucking kidding me? Like I said, it’s a ball in a cup. Most of the time you can just toss it in the general direction.  Now you are gonna come right up to the table and bounce it? and then expect 2 cups to be pulled? I don’t even know what to say.

To the kid that calls a zipper rack

10,6,4,3, and “gentlemen’s” are the racks in Ruit.  Ruit is a gentleman’s game of honor and pride.  Have some faith in your skills.  Yes I understand, naturally, when you are left with 5 cups, the rack is pretty funky and hard to hit.  However, calling a zipper rack is a bullshit cop out for not being able to hit just ONE more cup and call your classic diamond or offset.

To the kid that stands around talking during his turn

You are the fucking man!  Everybody at the party wants to hear what you have to say!…Consider your turn like you are teeing off at 10 AM on the first nice Saturday of the season.  You got your group waiting on you and a line of carts waiting to tee off behind you.  Yes, I’m sure whatever bullshit you said to that girl was funny and smooth.  Yes, I’m sure whatever joke somebody just made was so funny you had to stop the game. But seriously, shoot your shot and talk when it is not your turn.

If any of these lapses in etiquette apply to you, I encourage you to keep this in mind and correct it in your next games.  That will make the Ruit culture better for everybody.