2014 March Fatness: The Best Munchie Foods

Welcome to March Fatness with TouchMyCulture.com. The selection committee (us) have created the bracket, and we will be breaking down the top 64 munchie foods from around the globe. The first three rounds will be voted on by our contributing staff, but from the “elite ate” on, it will be up to you, the readers! So roll up a sploife, grab a beer, sitback, and enjoy March Fatness.

The winner of each matchup will be what the voter would like to eat when they are at a point of high zootedness.. Ex. 2 am and fresh off a blunt cruise (or maybe some brews, if that’s more your style); right after school and after a couple bewls. You get the picture. We all have our moments.

We are also thinking that each snack is made perfectly (the perfect bagel + cream cheese, etc.)


Here’s a closer look at the Jared from Subway Region



Thanksgiving Leftovers have the top spot, and rightfully so. But, maybe, just maybe, they’re so good because you can only have them once a year? Nahh they’re just fucking bomb… Sleeper pick here is the Mac and Cheese. The rules state that we picture the food being at its most prime state, and prime mac and cheese is a formidable opponent.

Matchup to Watch

Chicken Caeser Wrap vs. Meatball Sub. At first glance, meatball sub should demolish this wrap, right? But then I realized, there’s sort of a ceiling for meatball subs. Like, you can’t add much more than cheese, meat and sauce. But with the wrap, you’ve got all sorts of freedom. Gonna be a good one to watch.

Here’s a closer look at the John Goodman Region



Man I love me a good Bacon Egg & Cheese. When you’ve got the time to do it right, you put a fuck ton of love into that sandwich. That’s gotta count for something. The cereal pick is interesting. Not everyone is a cereal lover, but I don’t think I’d ever say no to a fat bowl of golden grahams. CULTURE. They’ll demolish whoever wins the play-in game (popcorn…duh).

Matchup to Watch

Chili vs. Chicken Noodle Soup. Wow. This is gonna be one for the ages. What’s better than a nice bowl, and then a nicer bowl of chili on a winter’s day. Idk. Chicken noodle soup? Guess we’ll find out!

Here’s a closer look at the Jonah Hill Region



To say this region is stacked, is a vast understatement. Taquitos coming in at 12??? Is this a joke! I think the selection committee might’ve been smoking something when they put this together. On second thought, yeah, they almost definitely were. Jalapeño poppers at 4? Sure, they’re good… but really a 4 seed? That’s a bit much.

Matchup to Watch

Burrito vs. Calzone. Both foods are extremely confident in their abilities, and expect to make deep runs in this tournament. Only one can. This is what the Fatness is all about.

And here’s a look at the Mario Batalli Region



A classic mush favorite with Bacon Cheeseburger Sub in the two seed. Gonna be hard to beat. But pizza and honey mustard wings (ranch is the 6th man of the year), are so consistent, they’re tough to stop. Also, can’t sleep on s’mores. We forget about them because of how rare they are, but mmm that delicious childhood nostalgia has got to be worth something.

Matchup to Watch

Watermelon vs. Dunkaroos. Watermelon is probably one of the more inconsistent fruits, but when you get that rich, juicy, dark pink piece. Could make any man go crazy.

What do you think will happen? Can anyone stop Thanksgiving Leftovers? Tweet us your bracket!

4 Comments Add yours

  1. BillyBlanksJr. says:

    poptarts, smores, and cake with lower seeds then chicken fingers? doritos a 13 seed? how the fuck did banana bread make the tournament? take a lap

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