Average Athlete of the Week: Craig Brown

And we’re baaaaaaack. This time we’re doing it Sochi style. Has anyone been following this backward-ass Winter Olympics? Unfinished hotels, garbage halfpipes, and toilets sitting next to each other have won the headlines so far. Oh, and Shaun White didn’t even make the podium in this rendition of the halfpipe event…sorry for the spoiler.

With that being said, I’d like to direct your focus to one of the most average athletes in one of the most average sports I’ve ever seen. Many of you will ask, who in the world is Craig Brown? Wellllll, he’s the alternate to the United State’s Men’s Curling team. Too bad his name isn’t Charles, because that would have made for an interesting double post.

Craig Brown

Although I’m quite average myself, Curling has to be the greatest Winter Olympic sport known to man and should be played in gym class around the country. Other than Bode Miller and his wasted downhill skiing, Curling is easily the only Olympic game where you can get turnt up and still go win. It’s like shuffleboard on ice, but I’d probably rather play shuffleboard with some old timers while drinking a Mint Julep in Boca

But let’s get back to Craig. He’s part of what Curling insiders (yes, there are Curling insiders) call “The First Family of Curling”. His mom and dad curled for the U.S. team and his sister is a three time Olympian and current captain of this year’s American Women’s team.

In all honesty, Craig has torn it up in his career. This dude has lived the dream making a career out of Curling, but let’s be honest, he’s the weakling in the powerhouse family. Oh, and he’s a Green Bay Packers fan which is questionable in and of itself. I’m excited to see if Old Craigy can come off the bench when Uncle Sam calls his number and duke it out against the Commies, and pseudo-Commies when Curling play resumes tomorrow.

And as an aside: USA vs. Slovakia in hockey, Thursday morning at 7:30 AM. Budweiser’s will be in hand and an American flag will be draped over my shoulders. Cue God Bless America now and see you all next week.



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