I want to start this off by saying, if you’re scared of the song, “Take Me To River”, you should not commit larceny. Early morning on Febuary 4th, 2014, a so called, “Burgahlar”, attempted to break into the Hooked on Fishing Shop. The attempted pley was shortly stopped after the Burgahlar was frightened by the motion reactor, known as Big Mouth Billy Bass. This geach was so scared that he knocked the poor old Billy off the wall and proceeded to beat him. The defenseless Big Mouth was found on the floor the next morning, according to the police. My advice to this “thug” is to do some self reevaluations and to avoid rivers at all costs, rumor has it Billy Bass told his older brothers about the incident.