Just finished the series, and its probably impossible to narrow down the list of Hank Moody casualties to 5, but I tried. Californication might be a top 5 Television show of all time, and Hank Moody a top 5 burgah eater, but those are blogs for another time.
5) Abby Rhodes, Season 5
Amanda from Entourage, Abby from Californication, who cares. Since I first saw her sass Vince and E in their first meeting, she’s captivated me…like she did to Vince.
4) Mia Cross, seasons 1-4
Even though she played a 16 year old, the actress started when she was 2o, so I can technically include her. She first manipulated Hank with her boobs, and then later with her brain. Sexiness plus wittiness is a cultureful combination.
3) Jackie, Season 3
Student by day, stripper by night. Her rack is something you write home about…
Dear Mom and Dad, This girl from Californication has an amazing rack. Thought you should know. Love, Tackstyles
2) Michelle “Surfer Girl,” Season 1-2
Another Entourage/Californication crossbreed. Billy Walsh and Hank would be Eskimo Brothers. But back to Michelle…chillness adds to hotness. If you ignore her fucking and robbing Hank, she’s one of the chillest hot girls in Television history. Her go to line, “Want to get high and listen to records?”
1) Karen, All Seasons
The filet mignon of burgahs. Mature, sexy, beautiful, funny, smart…just the whole package. 5 tool player. Hank may have made some poor decisions, but he was right in choosing Karen to be his lone burgah.