The Bench of the All-Caucasian NBA Team

Because of the overwhelming response to my starting 5, even though it was mostly negative, I decided to add a bench to this all-time great squad.

Backup PG: Jeremy Lin

HOW WHITE IS HE???

He went to Harvard. He is conscientious about saving money, so he sleeps on teammates couches.

He also loves burgahs...
He also loves burgahs…

Backup SG: Steve Novak

HOW WHITE IS HE???

Can only shoot 3’s, and does the whitest gun in holster celebration ever seen.

steve-novak

Backup SF: Gordon Hayward

HOW WHITE IS HE???

Outside of basketball, Hayward is an avid video game player, and has been involved with the IGN Pro League. Some of the games he plays include StarCraft II and League of Legends.

haywardstarcraft

Backup PF: Matt Bonner

HOW WHITE IS HE???

In 2010, he was chosen as the 19th-smartest athlete in sports by Sporting News. Bonner never received less than an “A” as final grade in any class throughout his academic career, until he received a “C” on a chemistry exam in college, which led to a final grade of a “B” In 2008, Bonner signed with New Balance to produce his own basketball shoe.

San Antonio Spurs v Dallas Mavericks

Backup C: Chris Kaman

HOW WHITE IS HE???

He was misdiagnosed with ADHD as a child, and is now a spokesman for the possible negative effects of a misdiagnosis of this disorder. He grew up on a farm and was known for tearing shingles off of barn roofs.

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