Why NOT to buy a burgah a drink….unless shes cooked medium rare.

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The nightlife scene is full of all types of people, which provides a whole lotttta CULTURE. But similar to Obama’s presidency, many eager young gentlemen enter the venue with great HOPE and find themselves with no PLEY.  Pley having a dual meaning  as they got no pleys and their money is gone, leaving them pleyless in pittsburgah. Of course, many are successful, some get so much pley to the point we may even deem them savages, yet none of such success will be achieved from buying a girl a drink.

Girls obviously love getting free drinks, there’s no denying that, but finding a burgah that’s worth spending money on is rarer than Victor Moone giving a 20% tip.

Scenario 1: You buy a girl a drink. She loves it. Great..you take her home and she touches your culture. If it happened that easily…it wasn’t because you bought her a drink, you’re either a stud or she had Staples’ “easy button” taped to her tits…or both. Either way, you could’ve got your pley and kept the $15 for a nice celebratory omelette in the morning, since no girls cook like they’re supposed to.

Scenario 2: You buy a girl a drink. She’s then somewhat obliged to spend the duration of the drink with you, which is solid. But, if you want it to amount to any pley, you’re going to need to have some things going for you whether it be looks, or game like EA. Regardless at the end of the day, if you want the girl’s attention just get it. Spend that drink on yourself and do something more legendary than normal.

Scenario 3:

Many women reading this are probably thinking…”Wtf we try so hard for you guys” or “OMG no, free drinks are like life” or “I’m in heels, and a brand new dress, I practically am Beyonce I deserve free drinks”. News flash for you Walter Kronkite: You aren’t. Sure many of you may actually have spent a lot of money on your attire, that’s great. However nobody asked you to, and the only reason you feel pressured to buy new clothes every day is because you hold each other to higher standards than you should. “OMG you wore that dress like three months ago sweetie…” guess what, no guy gives a fuck, if you looked good, they probably wish you’d wear it every weekend.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Someone Had to Say It says:

    Y’all are funny but the inside joke lingo shit is GAY. Your welcome.

    1. Our lingo page doesn’t have sexual feelings but when you can think of a better negative adjective that fits the situation, then your opinion might matter to me. Thank you.

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